it’s weird how yogurt is almost exclusively advertised to women
"Are you kidding me?"
“No, im adulting you”
I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
teacher: are you okay do you need any help?
me: yes, financially
as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
when u offer someone food and they actually say yes